As I was trolling the internet – as I am wont to do – an article on love from Yahoo.com scrolled across the top of my browser.  Because we had talked about this subject recently, I decide to talk a peek.

Interesting.

Author wrote about the aspects of a relationship that impacted whether a “get-together” would last or not.  Not really a dissertation on love, per se.

Head over, read the article, come back and let’s discuss some more.

And I’ll give you my view…

Crucial Characteristics of Lasting Love

 

By Dee Anne Merriman

Too often, love is blind.

When Jenny and Michael met, they were instantly attracted to each other. Those electrifying sparks started flying. In an exciting whirlwind of parties and romantic dates, they swept each other off their feet. They decided to get married and live happily ever after. Years later the hormones had calmed down (and so had the fireworks). When the smoke cleared, the mismatches started to emerge. Her passion to shop and his questionable money decisions created constant financial stress. He liked to hang with the guys at the bar. She loved to go to the theater with friends. They disagreed on children and family values, especially religion. Communication broke down. Eventually, they grew apart.  Read more…

I think a major challenge is that most people look at the word “love” and use in the wrong context. 

Love is not a noun.  We can say that “we are in love,” but that doesn’t change the nature of the word, “love.”

Because…

Love is a verb.  It is what we do.  It is what we must do everyday, every moment if we are to stay in love.

I first learned this from reading Dr. Stephen Covey.  His thoughts and interpetations have had a profound impact on mine.

And this is really the first lesson I learned from him.

Love is a verb.

If you no longer in love with your wife of 15 years – and you sincerely want to stay with her – then you must love her. 

Feelings and emotions follow action.  And the action is the act of “loving” someone.

All of the issues that Jenny and Michael were coping with, it is clear that they were not loving each other.  But feeling does not preceed action.  It follows action.  And the action is that Jenny and Michael needed to choose to love each other.  They choose not to.  And they, or rather the author blames the mismatch amongst the characteristic she lists.

Love, anger, resentment, all that as nouns are emotions that come and go – whether we like or not.

Those are nouns.

Verbs stay with us because verbs are actions we choose to take day in and day out.

So, you love someone, love them day in and day out, even when somedays – you feel the noun of resentment, anger, frustration, and so on and so on.

Because eventually, the noun changes back to love and why you came together in the first.  That’s a good thing.

By the way, this is my best definition of the noun, love:

1 Corinthians 13

 1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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