by Phil Baker,
Truth is stranger than fiction. Take a break and discover more reasons why proofreading your resume is so important. These are actual cover letter, job application, and resume bloopers I have collected over the years:
- References available upon quest
- References: Dictionary, Almanac, and the Guinness Book of World Records
- References available upon my request
- References to be executed upon request
- All references subject to request
- Will provide sootable references
- References will provide references
- References will be prorated
- References to be furnished upon reguest
- References furnished when accounted for
- References contact information upon reguess
- Adamant References included
Under “Please list your past experience:”
- I don’t believe in reincarnation.
- I like to live in the present.
- Did not keep track.
- I have no past.
- I’m not married.
- I have no experience but I am willing to find some.
- I have been clean and sober since college.
- My experience is all present
Reason for Leaving Last Job:
- Hated my boos
- No thank you
- Maturity leave
- I’m not leaving
- Took leave of abstinence
- Didn’t need one
- The policy manual forced me to
- For a bitter job
- Boss was having an affair and his wife found out
- They don’t know I left
- Too many abstinences
- I didn’t steal anything
- Won $17,334. at the dog track
- Featured on Girls Gone Wild
- Guest on the Jerry Springer show
- Still looking for some
- Able to avoid sexual harassment suits
- Spent the summer learning to surf
- Got my boss fired
- Looking for an employer that will appreciate my ability to optimize my time.
- Seeking position where I can reach my potential from my position.
- Seeking a job ass manager.
- I am resigned from a position that will allow me to exceed.
- Seeking an opportunity where my employer can take full advantage of me.
- To secure employment in a secure position where I can utilize my background in security.
- Able to focus on single mutli-tasks
- Perform tasks through optimizer
- Great multi-asking ability
- Perform research spills without supervision
- Atenttion to Detail
- Detail oriental
- Able to compete difficult tasks
- Competent with Lexus Mexus
- Processed farms for immigrants
- Collaborated independently on projects
- Contracted diseases for several hospitals
- Approved of my wage increases
- Found lost items that had been lost
- Demonstrated quit thinking
- Performed teamwork Independently
Copyright 2009 Phil Baker
Hyo’s Note – Not only is Phil the creator of the OneClick Cover Letter Creator Software Program (a ridiculous easy to use, yet effective software that creates cover letters tailored to your needs) which you can visit here, or you can read my review of it here, but he also has a tremendous website, www.ResumeDictionary.com. Resume Dictionary might just be the best, free resume resource site out there.
By the way, if you’re looking to avoid all those mistakes up there, check out my page on the different tools and resources you have available for writing a top notch resume – Resume Writing Resources and Templates, or How to Write A Resume…